SMILEEE(:

because it's contagious!(:
3 days into break && I'm already loving it. I love this holiday season so much because everyone is just so MERRY and everyone I meet is just full Usually the idea of "wrapping gifts" for people wouldn't appeal to many people as "FUN" but it just was today because of everyone's holiday spirit. My friend and I greeted each person entering the store with a chipper and peppy "GOOD MORNING!" and that brought a smile to most of their faces while they returned our greeting. When someone left, we made sure they left with a smile by wishing them "Happy Holidays" and one time, this lady came up to us and dropped in a pretty nifty amount into our donations can because she said our peppiness "made her day." I don't know why but hearing that made my day as well, knowing that my best friend and I had somewhat brought the holiday cheerfulness to so many people. Some people even tried to beat us to the punch by saying "happy holidays" before we even had a chance to and that was just hilarious because I love it when people go along with us. It made me happy to know that what I was doing was going to help out a library [[all our tips/donations go towards the library]] but what made me happiest was seeing a frown turn into a smile in just a matter of seconds because smiles are contagious.





(:




countdown: 3 days to go

Thrill of the "chase"

Have you ever had that feeling while going after something you want really really really bad?
Or at least something you thought you wanted badly? And then when you get it, you realize
it's not as great as you expected it to be? And that it was just the thrill of the chase that you were feeling
and not the emotions that you thought you felt before? I kinda hate that feeling of the chase. If you can relate then you would know that the thrill of the chase can be mistaken as so many other emotions and it sucks to realize that that "thing" was not what you wanted AFTER you get it. It's like wanting a toy so badly and expecting SO much out of it that when you DO get that toy, you don't want it anymore. You want to throw it away but it's hard to throw away something you wanted so bad in the beginning. You're torn between 2 decisions:

1. Throw that toy away because of your mistaken emotions and feelings
2. Pretend you love that toy and cherish it while you can

To me, it's always A LOT easier to go with option 1 but after I throw that "thing" away, I always feel so guilty for wanting it so badly in the first place. I feel horrible knowing that I have to "drop" it or throw it away so fast because I realized my REAL emotions and feelings for it.

Finals...SAY WHAT?!?

Ohmiigosh This apparently has been the highlight of a lot of blogs this week. But that's totally understandable because there are other people like me out there who worry about finals. Each and every final. Friends tell me to relax and I'll do fine but I can't relax knowing that my semester grades depend on these 6 tests I'm about to take in just a matter of days. A few big mistakes and my grades will drop like crazy. I can't help being an overly paranoid perfectionist. I've been raised to have perfect grades and I hate the feeling I get when I don't reach up to that level that is expected of me. I have so much notes left to take and so much cramming left to do so I might as well get started.



Best of luck to all of you!

Let's get sick!

That must sound like a pretty dumb idea huh? Well, I'm not actually sick before finals, or at least, I hope I'm NOT? After staying out in the cold today for about an hour or so talking to my best friend, the rain started coming down slowly. The two of us decided to ignore it and continue talking, so we did. After a few more minutes, the sky was POURING. [[haha]] It was hilarious. We just went on talking about a serious topic and ignored the rain, even though we were both soaked through our clothes. Today was just a fun, fun, fun day so I didn't even mind the rain one bit. My best friend and I just sat through the downpour until the rain finally stopped and we were standing in front of the school shivering nonstop. To anyone looking from far away, the two of us would look insanely crazy and stupid for sitting out in the rain, running around in the rain, having fun in the rain, but to us, it's a whole different story. We both just love to do weird, crazy, insane things just for the thrill of it and for us, it's just another happy, unforgettable memory.

(:





countdown:
10 days til xmas!

can we say HAPPY?

Okay.
Happy.
Content.
Pleased.
Peaceful.
Thrilled.
Relieved.
Satisfied.
Overjoyed.

Feelings of contentment overfill me right now not just because of one good event that happened today but many small and big events put together. This is probably the most content I've felt in a while now and I want it to stay with me.


(:


the countdown continues:
15 days to go!

vulernability

Vulnerablity: the act of being vulnerable
was the subject that was brought up today in Mr. Miclette's class. He told us not to lie to ourselves and admit whether we put up a game face everyday or not. That discussion popped into my mind so I thought I'd talk about it.


Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Don't show your tears.
Don't be weak.
Don't let things get to you.
Why is everyone arguing nowadays?
Why do tears fall so easily?
Why do parents argue over the tiniest, stupidest little things?
Why do they threaten to seperate everytime they fight?
Why do friends argue?
Why do friends want to walk out of each other's lives?


To me, showing tears means vulnerability. It gives people an easy way to get to you, to hurt you with either their words or their actions. That's why I only keep a certain number of people close to me. Whenever someone gets to close, I get scared. Call me selfish, call me whatever but I have to worry about myself sometimes too. I have friends but I only trust a few. I laugh with eveyrone but only cry in front of one or two.



countdown:
16 days to go

Dear Santa,

What do I want for Christmas this year?
I want a whole new year of complete happiness.
I know that might sound like too much to ask for but that's all I want.
I don't want clothes, shoes, books, no external happiness, but instead, all I want this year is internal happiness.
If it's only for one year, so be it.
I just want a completely drama-less, stress-free, happiness-all-year-round kind of year.
That's all.
If I get more than this, YAY ME.
If not, I don't mind.
I'll be content enough with just this.


(:




the countdown continues:
17 days to go

Counting down

AGAIN!
I know. But this time, it's not for camp and it's not for anything like going out of town or a getaway to the woods or anything like that [[i WISH]], but instead, until the craziest holiday of the year come around, CHRISTMAS! I can't WAIT for Christmas and I don't really know why. It's just I like to be all excited and festive along with everyone else when the holiday comes around. I'm not Christian nor am I any other religion but like, it's just FUN to celebrate with everyone and give/receive gifts once a year. I really do believe that Christmas brings out the good in people. To me, it doesn't matter how big or expensive the gift is, it's just the thought or the time that the person put into the gift that counts. Well, the countdown BEGINS!


18 days to go
woot!woot!
(:

chocolate milk anyone?

DON'T think this is just a simple blog about a drink.
Chocolate milk to everyone might seem like just simply a hot drink to drink in the morning
but to me and everyone who went to camp, it's a
memory.
a memory that we won't
EVER ever ever ever
FORGET.
It reminds us of all the
mornings
breaks
lunches
afternoons
dinners
at the one&&only
CAMP CAMPBELL!
It reminds us of
the taste of nature and
the week we spent at camp
along with the kids and trees
around us.
It reminds us of all the good times we had
and how the hot chocolate kept us
warm during the chilly chilly mornings
in early December 2008.
It will forever represent something more than just a simple
drink.

tan oak tan oak... oooh bby let your zylem flow

5 days. 4 nights. 12 students. 16 cabin leaders. Put those all together and what do you get? A BAJILLION+ memories! The last week at camp has definitely deserved to be named the "highlight of my year". Everything was amazing, everything was special. I miss everything about that camp, including the things I never thought I'd miss.
I miss:
- the cabin leaders [[raindrop, jaguar paw, le tigre, bolt, rainbow bright, falling star, mushroom, rattlesnake, shark, pretty princess, cheetah girl, wolfman, wild abu, wild turkey, rivers]]
- the kiddies [[my san jose sharks]]
- the hot chocolate [[even though I didn't like it very much at first]]
= the redwood trees
- the smell of fresh air
- the chilly chilly mornings
- the cabin [[NUMBER 10]]
- the variety of meals [[yum yum]]
= the crazy hiking
- the cold and then suddenly hot showers
- the random kids who come up and say hi to me
- the dinner table I share with the kids
- the evening activity [[camp campbell dance!]]
- the fact that everyone called me "snowflake"
- the fact that kids were making up rumors about me and some guys
- the fact that we're not there for RELATIONSHIPS [[haha]]
- the fact that some boys called themselves my "husbands" [[LOLOLOL]]
- the fact that everyone was trying to guess my name [[i was called tess, tessa, jessica, yellow snowflake, pink snowflake, etc.]]
- the jokes
- the skits
- the campfire
- the songs
- the laughs
- the MEMORIES that piled up in just 5 days!

basically, I miss EVERYTHING about Camp Campbell and I would totally come back if I have the chance [[SPRING BREAK right guys?]]