Ok, so like today is officially the 2nd week that I've stopped doing tae kwon do. One, I already feel like I'm out of shape. I don't work out as much as I did while doing tae kwon do. Two, this is not what I expected. I thought that I would have less drama in my life but less drama at tae kwon do means two times as much drama at school [[which is HORRIBLE by the way]]. And three, the word "drifting" comes back into the picture. I think I mentioned this once before, but if I haven't said it, I'll say it now. I HATE losing friends. I know the word hate is a strong word but I only use it when I actually mean it and YES, I simply hate losing friends. I used to be so up-to-date with all of the parties and get together we have every month at tae kwon do to bond with each other and catch up on each other's lives. Apparently, a few people have been planning a "secret get together" and of course, me, being the girl who's been gone for 11 days, didn't have the right to know about this. I'm not upset over the fact that I didn't know about it as much as I am upset over the fact that my "friends" couldn't tell me about it at all. I don't know if this is because I'm overly paranoid but like, I take this as a first sign of "drifting apart." I can't help but worry if I've done something wrong to cause them NOT to like me or accept me anymore. I've been losing too many friends recently and I've been told that it was because of "me" that my friends are leaving me and it's because they can't "take" being my friends and that scares me because: What is that's the truth?! What if I AM the reason people are leaving me? I don't know anymore. I feel like, within another two week's worth of time, I'll be wiped out completely. I'm completely terrified of that happening. If asking me: "What are you doing at tae kwon do Cindy? You quit, so get out of here." was supposed to reassure me in some way, I don't see it. I know that person said it as a joke, but for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that half of that quote was true. I didn't expect to hear that line, not even as a joke... :[
1 comment:
you say that, but you missed out on the part when Khoi came and hugged everyone, cuz that was the day I finally came back after my hiatus and was lucky enough to see you =] And don't worry about the get together thing(if you and i are talking about the same one), I've had that feeling before also. Just talk to the people involved in it and you'll see what happened. Trust me. It helps to let them know also, I've just gotten out of that feeling and hope I don't sink back in. Good luck with it!
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