x___x

Confused:
disoriented, taken back, muddled, dumbfounded

Why do you have to make me so confused?
In the morning, my mind is set
but
Before I sleep, I'm doubting my own judgment.
Why?

I'm unsure. I'm doubtful.
I'm optimistic but I'm pessimistic.
I'm lost but I'm found.

I'm not sure.
I tell you all one thing,
I'm thinking something else.
I think one thing and then a second later,
I change my mind.
Why?

I need a sign.
Any. sign.

:)

Why is it that some days, I feel as if my decision was wrong? Why do I always contemplate with myself so much? Even with all the distractions in my life, it's still not enough to let my mind take a break from having second thoughts and questions like: What If? Well, even though what's needed to be said has not all been said, what's done is done and I don't want to turn back. I've tried that numerous times now and I'm tired from trying again and again. If it hurts the first time, no doubt it'll hurt the second time around too so I think I'll spare everyone from that... :)

.

I found a new line that I love((:



WORDS aren't words until you mean what you say; &LOVE isn't love until you give it away..

yay Disney PSA's!

Back Again

I can't help but be grateful that today turned out well.You guys were the closest friends I had for a really really long time but then the bond we had between us slowly started disappearing, and soon enough, it was completely gone. For the longest time, I thought we had no chance of ever talking like we did today ever again. It was just something that never crossed my mind anymore. We always walk past each other without a second glance, not giving a single care about the other person lately and I'm glad that at least for ONE day, we seemed to care about each others lives. It's been so long, TOO long since we've talked and chilled like today and this makes me very happy to say the very least. I guess you can say that I'm glad that you're giving me hope that things CAN be better again, that the unfixable things CAN be fixed again. It's just a matter of time..Even this is false hope, I'd like to think so for one day..

missing you..

Some days, I wake up feeling lonely and kinda sorta empty and sit there and wonder why. Lately, it's been happening a lot so of course, I worried.. But then, I realized that it was not some random mood or anything I ate and whatnot. I realized it was from not seeing my friends like I usually do everyday when we still had school going on. I miss it all. I feel happy whenever a friend calls me up and we talk forever like we haven't ever talked before. You guys probably can't see it but whenever we talk, there's a big fat smile on my face...basically, I want to see everyone again and talk and laugh like we always do. I feel alone without you guys.
I miss you all more than words can express..<3

s-s-summer2k9

finally finally started for me...(:

kinda sorta late dontcha think?


Well, I don't care.


So far, it's been drama-free & that was EXACTLY what I asked for so..
I guess all these trips are just considered a "bonus" for me!

:D

Effects of the Past

I just finished reading through all of my blogs from the beginning of the school year until now. Yes, each and every one of them. Pretty crazy right? My mind was just WOW after I finished. Some of the older blogs made me confused because I forgot who/what they were about while some made me cringe because all I did was whine in them. I also finished re-reading through my "first love" blog and laughed at it because of how things turned out since then. In the good way of course. I also re-read everybody's comments that they left for me after reading certain blogs and some of them came true & that makes me happy. Rereading peoples' comments make me smile because it only shows you who cares about your life and who wants you to be happy and whatnot. I realized how depressing I was in half of my blogs & I would like to apologize. I can't seem to write anything interesting when I'm just "normal." I either have to be overly happy or overly sad to write something that I will be proud of. LOL. Ironic right? Well, I'm just overly BORED right now so I decided to do this. Maybe, when I read these blogs again in a few months, I'll have a different reaction & maybe they will have different effects on me. Oh my. I can't wait(: