to turn back time

What I would give right now if I could only turn back time...along with what happened at school today, a lot of other stuff popped up between me and my friends too. I had this really close friend and he was just always there for me through everything as I tried to be there for him through whatever he was going through. We both basically had each other's backs and we'd always know who to turn to for support at all times. But tonight, something bad happened between us and it risked our friendship in the worst way possible. I can't stand losing friends and it just hurts me to let them go. I wish I could turn back time so badly sometimes and change things so that they wouldn't be the way they are now. But as everyone knows, that's impossible. He says that he's different and that we'll stay friends no matter what but I'm scared. I wish I could believe it but this has happened so many times already between me and friends that it's hard to just trust that line. I'm scared I made the wrong choice and did what I did, but I guess I have to trust my gut instinct and face whatever consequences that will come my way. I just hope that our friendship is stronger than that because we've been through stuff with each other before. It's just nothing this serious has ever happened and I'm just scared that our bond won't be the same as before even if we learn to move on and try to forgive and forget. I felt as if I was losing him slowly by the minute while talking to him tonight and I am terrified of that feeling: the feeling of being left behind and forgotten. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just want my best friend back.