t-h-a-n-k-y-o-u

Thank you are two words that every single one of my friends have been hearing from me a lot. I want to thank ALL of them for sticking by my side through everything and helping to cheer me up. You guys have been such a big help to me. I appreciate all that you guys have done for me, which includes: making me smile, making me laugh, trying to fix my problems, worrying about me, calling and talking to me on aim nonstop, asking me if I was alright every other five seconds, taking me places, buying me drinks & food, writing me notes, drawing me pictures, thinking of ways to help me go to camp, making lists of "possibilities," [LMAO], constantly thinking of ways to help me get my mind off of things, staying after school to talk to me, etc. You guys have done so much, wait, no, TOO much for me and you guys have NO idea how grateful I am to have you guys in my life. I know you guys must be tired of hearing me repeat this over and over again, but that's just the way I express my thanks. I seriously LOVE you guys!




SHOUT-OUT time(:
I especially want to thank my best friend. You have been there for me through thick and thin, literally, good and bad. You were there to listen to me cry and complain on the phone and you were there for me when I needed a big hug. You stayed with me after school so many times just to talk. You wrote me notes with just the words: iFLY! and you drew me big dinosaur pictures. All of your notes somehow made me smile or laugh one way or another. Just looking at you can make me smile, and you know that. [LOL] I just wanted to say THANK YOU and iloveyoutodeath boo<3

Once again...I'm indecisive

Just like the title of my blog states, ONCE AGAIN I'M INDECISIVE. Today at TKD, I almost decided to stay and not take a month off. GASP right? :x I thought I had made up my mind to quit TKD for one whole month but like, I don't know. Today was just different . Nothing made me mad today, nobody said anything dumb to me to piss me off and just today, I felt like I accomplished something, like I was actually TRYING at TKD, for once. I don't know if it was just because there were only a FEW kids there today or just that today was my good day. I guess I'll never know but whatever, training at TKD today made me feel good about myself and that's like..RARE. I almost decided against my OWN decision to take a month off but like in the end, I told myself that I needed a break. Just one good day at TKD isn't going to mean the passion for it is going to be there everyday. and neither is it going to make me change my mind, so I'm sticking with my primary decision and I'm going to take a month off.

Halloween '08

Ok, so like today was just..AWESOME! That probably would be the best word to use to describe it. Two days ago, out of nowhere, my friends came up with an idea for a costume that we can all participate in and dress up as: Pacman and ghosts. LOL I thought that the idea was pretty NEAT because one, it was cute and two, it was original, which was PERFECT bceause I never really liked Halloween because of all the scary costumes and black cats and scarecrows, etc. Yes, I'm afraid of scarecrows. Go ahead and laugh.(: But yeah, back to the subject, I basically NEVER dress up anymore so I thought I could go for a change this year. Katelyn bought the t-shirts for us [[thank you hun<3]]. Hand drawing circles and round figures are SO NOT easy, trust me. But, whatever. In the end, it was all so worth it.(: I think I have the right to say this: WE LOOKED PRETTY SICK TODAY @ SCHOOL! However, the whole day went by pretty slow. I don't know if it's just me or if the time seemed to feel longer in all of the periods today. So many good things happneed today but I guess it's time I mention the not-so-good things now:
1. I had WAY too much candy, BIG mistake. [[too much candy = stomacheache]]
2. Mrs. Miller freaked me out BIG TIME today. She was dressed up as a clown..and I have this BIG fear of clowns.
3. We watched this scary movie in Spanish class today and I can't stop thinking about the scary parts. [[Me and Amy were holding each others hands the whole entire time, so every time a scary part showed up, we'd squeeze the other person's hands so hard, any harder and our blood circulation would've stopped LOL]] That movie scared me to the point where I can't be alone anywhere and everywhere I go. Other than that, today was fun. For once, I actually looked FORWARD to Halloween this year and just the fact that my friends dressed up WITH me and that we were all matching, totally made my day, month, wait, no, YEAR!(:












I might be a LITTLE bit late to say this but: Happy Halloween everyone(:

Temporary Happiness? or More?

Ever since Saturday, I've felt this sudden feeling of overwhelming giddiness burst inside of me. Suddenly, everything seems so happy and bright to me again. I feel so light and just...overly sprung about everything. I don't know if this is good or bad for me because, just last week, I was a wreck. I was depressed and just overwhelmed everyday about everything going on in my life but nowadays, the only thing you'll see on my face is a smile. I'm continuously smiling and laughing around everyone and you won't see me frown or cry at school. Over the weekend, I've made so many new friends who make me laugh nonstop and we've made so many new memories that I will never forget. I never knew that clubs at school could build so many new friendships and bonds between kids who probably would've never talked with each other out of nowhere. I'm just glad that there are such things AS clubs out there to help build strong and hopefully, everlasting relationships among students in high schools.

Needing some space...

My passion and love for Tae Kwon Do (aka TKD) is definitely still there, yes, but it's not as strong as it was before, like when I first joined. Whoever plays a sport or has a hobby that they really enjoy doing might understand what I'm trying to say. Usually, on my way to TKD, I would get this nervous/excited/anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach for some weird reason. It might not sound all great to you  but it was definitely a good thing for me. It made me realize I was just really excited to go there and see everyone and train again. But to tell you the truth, that feeling has been slowly disappearing more and more by the day. That fact scares me so much. I'm not only taking a break from TKD because of all the stress, but I'm also trying to give some distance between me and that sport that I love to seee if that feeling might come back once I return to TKD in December. I want that nervous feeling in my stomach. I want to feel anxious about going there again, not knowing what to expect. But, unfortunately, these past few weeks, those feelings have been replaced by feelings of fear, annoyance, apathy, and vulnerability. In a way, this is kind of like a relationship. After spending fur days a week with this person doing the same repetitive things, having the same repetitive conversations, every day, every week, every month, eventually you would grow tired of it. It's only natural right? Well, in most relationships, this is the point where couples decide to take a "break" to decide whether they prefer being apart of being together, so I've decided to try that out too. I've decided to take a break from training because I need some breathing room and I don't want my passion and love for this sport to disappear completely. I want to regain that feeling of excitement again. 

Taking a Break

My last few weeks have been like a roller coaster  of emotions. Everyday, no wait, every hour, my emotions change. One minute, I was happy. A few minutes later, I was sad. After a few hours, I was either feeling disappointed, jealous,  distressed, scared, embarrassed, greedy, selfish, disgusted, angry, optimistic, remorseful, regretful, etc. Name a feeling, and I'll tell you: "I've felt that way within the last few weeks." Like, seriously. So much had happened in such a small amount of time and I can't handle going through various emotions like that in 2 weeks. In addition to that, I barely got any sleep every night because I was either doing loads of homework or thinking, and that kind of tied to my mood during school. The lack of sleep made me grouchy and easily annoyed at everything. A lot of people saw this change in me, and that meant my parents included. I asked them to quit tae kwon do for a month for some chill time to kick back and relax a little bit and they actually agreed that it would do beneficial for me. I was really surprised because I was sort of expecting to hear a "NO" from them. I just really hope that the next few weeks will be stress-free and advantageous for me.

"We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew"

HAHA, I bet you're all thinking what's up with the title or what's up with this girl Cindy's obsession with blogs about love? But here's the thing, it's a line from my song on my page (Love Story by Taylor Swift). The song was based on the story Romeo and Juliet, so I decided to base my blog on that. The main topic is: "Do teen love stories always end with a happy ending?"

Like seriously, I'm wondering if every relationship will end happily ever after just like all those fairy tales we love to read, or will it end tragic, like for example, Romeo and Juliet. All of us probably still have that hope about finding our "perfect someone" out there somewhere and yes, as teenagers, we still have many years ahead of us to search for that perfect person, but what I'm wondering is: After you find that perfect person who "completes" you, will the two of you end up with an enviable and strong relationship that will last up until death or longer, or will it just be an immature relationship that resembles a dream that ends before it even happens? Once again, there's no right answer to that question. It's life, and life isn't always going to give you answers that will lead you down the right path or to help make things any easier for you.

My best friend helped me come up with this blog so just a random shout out: Thank You Kati!<3